Another Sh*t day in Africa

This is one of my friend Charlie’s favorite lines. He usually breaks out this gem when he’s doing something he really enjoys like drinking, eating or as I learned on a previous trip to the Berg (Drakensberg Mountains); horseback riding.

I was lucky enough to be invited by my friends and co-workers, Stuart and Precious, to the Berg for a weekend. It’s beautiful up there, dramatic peaks and rolling hills – some of which featured prominently in the hiking pics I sent out a while back.

One mainly goes to the Berg to relax, enjoy the mountain air, or hike. At the Champagne Castle resort where we stayed, horseback riding is also included as one of the activities available for guests. I’d never been on a horse since I was a kid.

My Nana had a “farm”. That was what we called it anyway, but it was more like a petting zoo where Nana kept a bunch of barnyard animals as pets. It was fun going there because I got to play with all the animals. That is until the day I tried to feed Nana’s horse a carrot and CHOMP – big horse teeth came down on tiny 5 year old finger – the wailing which resulted has now become somewhat legendary in family circles.

 

Nana also used to somewhat obsessively warn me about staying away from the horse’s rear end as to avoid being kicked in the head. I’ve pretty much stayed away from them ever since. I guess my fear of horses started early, as did my fear of Nana, who could be pretty scary herself when she wanted to be. But I digress.

I decided on this particular trip to the Berg that I would conquer my fear of horses by riding one, mostly since Charles and Precious were planning on going anyway. When I heard Charles (who is quite the horseman) had signed us up for the “Intermediate” horse-riding session I wasn’t alarmed since I figured we would each be able to go at our own speed. This, however, was not the case.

Apparently there are different horses that are taken out depending on the skill level of the riders that sign up. Some horses like to run, and others are slow and only like to walk – and the ones that like to run take off as soon as the ones in front of them start running. So when my horse started running after the two in front of him, I felt like I would be bounced off at any moment and held on white-knuckled for dear life. I had no idea what I was doing and just concentrated on staying in the saddle. Luckily the first running episode ended rather quickly, after Charlie developed a poorly-timed cramp in the arse.

I managed to get over my initial terror of flying off the horse soon and actually started to enjoy myself, although this occured mostly when we were walking or trotting. But the cantering was definitely fun too – in a high-adrenaline sort of way. The scenery was breathtaking, the weather was fine, and we even got to see some Zebra and Springbok (like miniature antelopes) as we were riding through some flatter grassy areas.

“What would I be doing if I were in America right now?” I wondered to myself as we rode along.

 

Some Stuff I’ve Learned

I’ve been here over a year now, and I’ve learned a lot of things. If I made a list of ALL of the things I’ve learned about African cultures, HIV and AIDS, development work, Zulu words, or general South African history and knowledge it would be pretty freakin long. But here are some highlights anyway:

In the past year I’ve Learned…

that only the strong survive

a new and improved appreciation for solids

to become obsessed with ironing

the rules of rugby

that Cricket is boring whether you understand the rules or not

mncane of Zulu

how to enjoy eating a pie filled with meat

how to take a bucket bath and how to shower under a trickle

how to patch a bike tire

Shembe is the way

that I will never eat enough

how to eat with my hands

to enjoy kwaito

to find fashionable garments at a store called “Mr. Price”

 

The meaning of the words:

Lekker = good or cool

Bakkie = pick-up truck

Boerwors = sausage

Naartjie = orange-like fruit

Bunny chow = curry-filled bread hunk

Bru = kind of like calling your friend “bro”

Cool drink = carbonated beverage that may not be at a temperature anywhere near cool

Long-drop = a good outdoor toilet

Short-drop = a bad outdoor toilet

Haibo! = Haibo!

Jol = good time

Wellies = rubber rain boots or galoshes

Cozzie = swimming costume aka bathing suit

Matric = Sr. year in HS also synonymous with HS diploma

Izit? = Really?

Rock-up = show up unannounced

Pitch-up = show up or show up late

Scrum = rugby huddle

 

to survive off of eating retirement home food

to hum the theme song from, “Generations”

that I will never stop missing being able to drive

what tornado snakes are and why they’re so scary

that it gets freakin-a cold in Africa

how to operate an electric tea kettle and feel deprived when one is absent

to fear monkeys

to hoard free food

to ride minibus taxis

that if I ever marry a zulu, my dad will have to find somewhere to put the cows

to not bat an eyelash when practically sat upon by a very large woman on a taxi

not to walk alone outside after dark

to accept making people laugh without ever knowing why

to use the stuff I learned in school

not to eat from the salad bar at Spar or the shady Chinese restaurant up the road

that it is possible for one country to have adequate demand for no less than 6 nearly identical chicken restaurants

that there are a lot of things that actually don’t need to be refrigerated

to make and consume a tolerable cup of instant coffee

to correctly operate multiple building alarm systems

to drink long-life milk

to mix and match several different kinds of electrical adapters with ease

to text message at top speed

that a meal CAN be comprised of just meat alone, a meal is NOT a meal without any meat, and – you can NEVER have too much meat at one meal

that fast food really is disgusting

that hot running water is an often fleeting luxury

to overcome my fear of horses

to develop a fear of stonefish

to survive without anything good on TV

to drink whisky

to tolerate ants everywhere as soon as it starts to rain

to do the “teepha-teepha” dance

about how AIDS affects people

After hearing the same song 50x it becomes annoying. After hearing the same song 100x you give up and start liking it again.