Nicolas Meets the Mini-Bar

Nicolas lives in the Northern Cape town of Jan Kempdorp where he works at a community-based organization. I had the pleasure of meeting Nicolas for about the third time, at a recent training workshop we held in the Northern Cape. But this particular visit was characterized by particularly intense periods of Nicolas (pronounced NEE-koh-laahs here BTW) exposure during which I learned much more about him than I had known previously.

Nicolas is a 24-year-old Xhosa. Despite his age, I hesitate to classify him as a man…let’s say he’s about 24 going on 16. He is, however, a highly entertaining individual and his level of maturity only adds to his ability to entertain, charm and convince you of pretty much anything – to a point anyway. Eventually you realize that there is a distinct lack of substance to many of Nicolas’ stories and claims but this somehow does not stop you from wanting to hear them.

During our time together I learned that Nicolas is a yellow belt in Tai-bo; his all-time heroes of course being Tai-bo Master Billy Blanks followed by close-second Chuck Norris. I was also regaled with tales of his time spent at “Initiation School” aka Camp Circumcision. Thankfully the gorey details were spared and most of the story focused on the fancy outfits he got to wear, the amounts of beer he drank, and the special meals the village women were required to prepare for him.

The highlight of the workshop was when my colleague, Moeti, and I were informed that Nicolas managed to, in one sitting, consume practically the entire contents of the mini-bar fridge in his room at the guest lodge. This amounts to no less than 5 candy bars and 4 cans of soda (as luck would have it there were no alcoholic beverages present…so I guess technically it wasnt a mini-BAR, but whatever).

When informed that he would have to pay-up for the candy and sodas, Nicolas plead ignorant – saying that he assumed those things to be free, using the logic, “well if they were in my room they must be for me.” He also plead broke, saying that he only had enough money with him for the cost of transport to get back home (which we later determined to be true).

It is very possible that Nicolas would never have come in contact with a mini-bar before, as he grew-up in a rural area and doesn’t frequently stay in hotels. Probably the only times he’s stayed in a hotel before this incident occurred were for previous workshops sponsored by my organization – during which any mini-bars present were strategically emptied before any of our delegates arrived to avoid exactly this type of situation.

Upon arrival at the guest lodge everyone was given a price list for the items in their mini-bar. When questioned about this Nicolas again plead ignorance claiming never to have received this information. He also somehow during the course of his stay managed to piss off the guest lodge staff to the point where one member was threatening to confiscate his lugguage if he did’nt pay his mini-bar tab.

This left Moeti and I with the task of “sorting-out Nicolas” before departure. Our solution came in the form of a R 34 ($4.65) loan to be paid back the following week. So far we’re still waiting to be reimbursed…

Christmas and the Wild Coast

For Christmas this year I went to Brooke and Tom’s house in Ladysmith where there was a sizeable gathering of other PC volunteers. The highlights included homemade pasta for Christmas dinner, more cookies than were reasonable and Secret Santa gift exchange (most presents could be valued at around R30 or about $4.60).

Then for New Year’s some of us headed down to Coffee Bay on the Wild Coast. This area is in Eastern Cape Province which is just south of Kwa-Zulu Natal. The Eastern Cape is underdeveloped relative to the rest of the country as it was passed over by the apartheid architects for lack of any valuable natural resources to mine. But the upside is that alot of its natural beauty has remained unspoiled.

Unfortunately the day these photos were taken was one of only two sunny, warm days of the entire trip to CB. Not ideal weather for the beach vacation I was hoping for. We spent the only perfect beach day sweating our asses off on a hike along the coast. The views were breath-taking, but the overall experience was a little brutal due to the intense heat and the fact that we did not have nearly enough WATER.

The Eastern Cape is home to Xhosa people who have a culture which is distinct from the Zulu. Historically the two groups don’t get along well and there is still alot of anamosity between the them – especially when it comes to government matters. They like to accuse each other of conspiracies to come into and maintain power. Mandela and Mbeki are both Xhosas, whatever that means, and to a Zulu it can mean alot. Most regular Zulus and Xhosas stay out of politics though, see traditional Xhosa farm below:

In Coffee Bay we stayed at a backpackers called Bomvu Paradise although it was really anything but. We had to cross a river and climb a huge hill to get to the beach and the dorms were right next to the bar so it was ridiculously loud at night. Alot of drumming also went on there which was cool for about the first five minutes but became very old after five days. If I were ever to go back I would stay near Hole in the Wall, which is a little more touristy but has the superior beaches.

Don’t Fence Me In

Cows are stupid. In South Africa they like to stand in the road. This really makes no sense as eating grass forms the basis of a cow’s entire existence and grass typically cannot be found growing in the asphalt of a well-used road. This lack of grass does not deter the cow, however, from standing, stupidly, in the middle of a well-used road.

There are many cows in rural South Africa but few fences. So you’re bound to see a cow or two in the middle of the road or secondary highway when driving through a rural area. If you’re lucky the vehicle you’re driving or riding in will be able to slow down or swerve in time to avoid a collision with the hapless bovine, or in some cases, small ruminant such as a goat.

Back home Pennsylvanians face similar dangers with deer that often dart out in front of speeding cars. This becomes a problem every autumn when the entire state becomes overrun with the fuzzy-tailed creatures. But at least deer are afraid of cars and are usually trying to get away from them when they’re hit. Unlike cows, which fear nothing and don’t even consider vacating the highway until prompted to do so with furious horn-blaring. Deer are also much cuter and move a hell of alot faster.

Deer vs. Car = Dead Deer and Messed-up Car. The degree of messed-upedness of the car depends on the size of the deer, as this varies.

Last week I was in a bus that almost hit a cow – it was close. I think that in a Bus vs. Cow situation the cow would not fare as well as the bus. In another near cow collision I was a passenger in a Hyundai Atos.

Cow vs. Hyundai Atos = Too close to call