Chuck Norris Facts

A South African friend told me about this website…here are some of the highlights:

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Guns don’t kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn’t have nearly enough balls.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be “Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick.”

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

Industrial logging isn’t the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

As President Roosevelt said: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris.”

Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn’t kill women.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

On the 7th day, God rested…. Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy – its a Chucktatorship.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Jo-burg to Nairobi Itinerary

Actually if you want to get technical it’s really Durban – Nairobi, since I’m leaving Durban once and for all on September 30, 2007. My next stop is good old Pretoria where I have to finish-up things with PC officially – this includes closing out my SA bank account and a lengthy medical exam that requires three consecutive samples of my POOP. PC, it is all yours. 🙂

Joburg is a good starting point for any overland trip, as it’s a big regional transportation hub. It also works out well for my PC friends/travel companions and I since Joburg is only about 30 minutes from PC-HQ in Pretoria.

As I related in the previous post – I’ve been extremely bored at work lately. This been good in a way, as its inspired/forced me to do some planning and come up with an itinerary for my trip after PC. I’m hoping to set out on October 6, 2007 and travel for a little over 3 months.

THE ITINERARY
Botswana, October 6-15

Gaborone, Palapye (to visit Emily B!), Okavango Delta, Rhino Park

I should probably tell Emily I’m coming.

Zambia, October 15-20

Victoria Falls, Lusaka

Sadly we’re going to go through Zam as quickly as possible and might not see much there other than Vic Falls.

Malawi, October 20-31

Lilongwe, Nkhata Bay, Likoma Island, Livingstonia, Manchewe Falls, Mzuzu

I’m really excited to get to the Lake, but nervous about The Lake Worm, Malaria and Dengue… I have read about some of the spots in Southern Malawi that are supposed to be really nice (Mt. Mulanje, Monkey Bay) and depending on time maybe we can make it to that part of the country.

Tanzania, November 1-14; 21-28

Dar es Salaam, Zanzibar, Serengeti National Park, Ngorogoro Crater, Kilamanjaro/Moshi

Yea Tanzania! There is so much to see and do there, the biggest drawback is that the park fees (to get into Serengeti, etc) are so expensive! To climb Mt. Kilamanjaro for example it can cost around $750. Supposedly it can be done for cheaper (like $550) but then you’re either risking your safety or skimping on your guide’s (required) salary. So climbing the actual mountain is sadly not on the itinerary; hiking around the park, however, is. I’m also pysched for Scuba on Zanzibar.

Rwanda, November 14-21

Kigali, Parc National des Volcans (Mt. Gorillas!)

Don’t worry Mom, it’s safe! Rwanda is very peaceful now and you have a better chance of tracking down the mountain gorillas in the Rwandan park than in the Ugandan one nearby.

Kenya, November 28 – December 14

Nairobi, Masai Mara Reserve, Mt. Kenya, Lake Bogoria National Park

Two of my traveling companions are shipping out on or around December 14th, so I’ve been looking at how to fill my time between Dec 14 and Dec 27th. Any suggestions?

I’ve looked into going to the Seychelles or the Maldives, but those are are pretty expense options since they cater for the resort crowd, with resort budgets. The flights aren’t cheap either despite already being on this side of the world. I’ve also looked at going to Lamu, which is a Kenyan beach town.

India, December 27 – January 12

More on that later.

5 Weeks and Counting

That’s right folks, my time in SA is coming to an end, less than 5 weeks now. My last day in Durban is on September 30th. I’m finding it very hard to stay busy at work lately, mostly because no one is giving me anything to do! I guess they figure since I’m going soon I won’t have time to finish new projects. They should know me better than that by now!

So for the past two weeks, I’ve been sitting in my office doing my best not to become bored out of my mind! Luckily today Precious took Heather and I down to the Workshop. I bought a new hat and sunglasses with bling. 🙂

Behold:

Head Transplant Needed

It’s too late.  She’s already rotten to the core.

Blog Guilt

So it’s been over a month since I’ve posted anything here on my blog, and I’m feeling rather bad about it. I just don’t like posting things if I think they’ll be boring and uninteresting to read. It’s not like I havent been up to stuff in the past month, I’ve actually been kind of busy. Here’s a rundown in no particular order:
Went to Jo-burg twice. Unfortunately I don’t have anything particularly interesting to post about E’Goli (or the city of Gold as Johannesburg is also known) since when I’m there pretty much all I do is drink.
Said goodbye to my good friends Brooke, Tom and Alison who left SA for America. Tear ;(.

Spent about two weeks newly arrived group of US volunteers in the Northwest Province training village. I stayed with the Queen of Motswedi who made kick-ass samp.

Saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Only about 6 weeks left now for me in SA; I’m getting ready to say goodbye myself and having lots of mixed feelings. Erg :\.
Discovered that it’s easier to pick weevils out of rice while soaking the rice in a bowl of water. They float right to the top.

Was checked for lice by Meghan and PC Close of Service Conference. Thankfully I was clean.

Plannin my trips. More on that later.